Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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