I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
