a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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