she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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