last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
