everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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