So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
