we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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