Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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