We won't sleep together?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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