You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
