i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
