But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
