We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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