Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him