Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?

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  (312): you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were? http://tfl.nu/ge77
  Replies (40) Good night (636) Bad night (3247)
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  (858): View more from California

  Do you think there is vodka in heaven?

  (619): View more from California

  you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity

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  (858): Do you think there is vodka in heaven? (619): you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity http://tfl.nu/y8gk
  Replies (81) Good night (4182) Bad night (924)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.

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  (402): Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth. http://tfl.nu/qs80
  Replies (10) Good night (3243) Bad night (908)
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  (818): View more from California

  Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award

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  (818): Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award http://tfl.nu/89h0
  Replies (10) Good night (1184) Bad night (3835)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'

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  (541): His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.' http://tfl.nu/mg36
  Replies (9) Good night (1019) Bad night (5374)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.

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  (443): I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck. http://tfl.nu/69rd
  Replies (17) Good night (7906) Bad night (2080)
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  (415): View more from California

  Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point

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  (415): Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point http://tfl.nu/8yzz
  Replies (2) Good night (1255) Bad night (1151)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.

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  (712): Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS. http://tfl.nu/utzb
  Replies (30) Good night (1379) Bad night (6187)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big

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  (970): I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big http://tfl.nu/le84
  Replies (12) Good night (1948) Bad night (2843)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.

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  (941): I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked. http://tfl.nu/4e23
  Replies (9) Good night (1750) Bad night (869)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.

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  (717): Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move. http://tfl.nu/kgo8
  Replies (9) Good night (1214) Bad night (2090)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  ..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.

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  (828): remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch. (1-828): ..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so. http://tfl.nu/n0v1
  Replies (8) Good night (1899) Bad night (561)
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  (27): View more from South Africa

  You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.

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  (27): You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in. http://tfl.nu/09ev
  Replies (5) Good night (720) Bad night (229)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.

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  (508): Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about. http://tfl.nu/fvng
  Replies (1) Good night (458) Bad night (255)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho

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  (210): Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho http://tfl.nu/voi4
  Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (379)

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