Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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