ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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