college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
