just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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