i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
