the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
