Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
