Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
