I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
