At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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