Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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