i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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