i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
