what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
