I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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