I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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