That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
