I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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