I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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