everyone is single if you try hard enough
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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