So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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