I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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