She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
