what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
