Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
3 2 1 whiskey
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
