Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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