i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
