If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
