I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
