physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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