I am puke
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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