Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
pray to the hookup gods
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
