Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
