I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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