All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i think my mom watched the whole time
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just had sex on a roof
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
