Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
