I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
