when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
organizing the empties. That sober.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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