I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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