party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize