I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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