i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
