I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
