she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
