this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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