I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
