Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
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