So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
