Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
